Life keeps moving.

Life never stops.  This has been my reality lately.  It is crazy to me how quickly time seems to go by, and how long ago events that only happened a few weeks back seem.  Life changes daily due to shifting work priorities, a consistently evolving social life, and a never ending list of things I probably should be doing or working on.

I've had a lot of time to think about this phenomenon and how it affects me both personally and spiritually.  Personally, there are times when I just feel like I need a break!  A break from the constant pressure of work, social life, church responsibilities, family responsibilities, personal needs, and the list of things that I know I should do but rarely have time for.  Even when I get some time to relax, I don't feel like I can fully take advantage of it due to the pressures I know I have waiting for me once I determine my "break" is over.  One of the things I have always wanted to change about myself is the feeling I have that I am pretty good at a lot of things, but not really good or excellent at any one thing.  I have a lot of different things that I like to do, work on, be a part of, develop skills in, etc. that I take up and often do well in fairly quickly.  However, I don't get to a level in any of those things where I personally feel like I am at an elite level or one of the best in any of them.  This is frustrating to me as I feel that I would really like to be one of the best in something.

The reason that I feel like I am not able to get to the level I would like on some of the things I try is due to the level of effort that I know will be required for me to get there.  I have always been the time of person that if I could study for a few hours and get 85 - 90 or so on a test or study for 20 hours and get a 95 - 100 on a test, I would always choose to study less and spend all my extra time doing other things.  It is this mentality which then influences me when I have other things that, although I would like to become one of the best in them, due to the significant effort required for me to get to that point, I choose to spend my time elsewhere.  Not that I am afraid to work hard to get what I want, just that with all of the constantly competing demands on my time, the pressure of having other things to get done does not allow me to feel that I have enough time to dedicate to any one thing.  At the end of the day I suppose it all comes down to balance, and being able to prioritize all of the competing demands on our time.  However after we have made our decisions on what to do with our time, we need to feel good about our decisions and feel a sense of accomplishment on the way we have lived our lives.  I would love to have the feeling of having given something everything I have and working hard to become the best at it.  The difficult part in all of this will be finding the correct balance with all of the other things I have going on in my life to find the time necessary to feel that I have given something all that I have.  I believe this is part of our test and challenge of living.

Knowing that life never stops (or seems to stop) can provide great comfort and opportunity as well.  Each day is a new day.  It doesn't matter if today was an amazing day, a normal day, or the worst day of your life, you will wake up tomorrow with a new opportunity and challenge to make that day successful.  This is a huge blessing!  Not every day we are on the top of our game.  There are some days that just suck, and some days in which you just suck.  We all make mistakes and have off days, so there is comfort in knowing that the Lord has provided us the blessing of a new day to learn from our mistakes, grow, and become better.  If we take advantage of these daily opportunities to improve, and realize that no matter our mistakes in the previous day we have new opportunities in the next day, we begin to more fully understand and appreciate the atonement.  Because of the atonement, it doesn't matter how crappy of a day yesterday was, today we have new opportunities to make the most of our time.  Even though I may not be to where I want to be yet in a lot of different aspects of my life, I appreciate the challenges and opportunities to keep on going.  Even if that means I have crappy days and life never seems to stop.  I suppose I appreciate the constantly moving forward nature of life more than I would the alternative.  Just some new perspective I have gained over the past few weeks.

Take me back to... (continued)

Summer 2006:  This was the summer after my freshman year of college.  As time passes more and more of the memories of this summer slip away.  It was the first of two summers I spent in down in Austin / San Antonio Texas selling pest control.  I worked for a start up company named White Knight Pest Control.  It was their first summer in business, and was owned by a guy that would eventually become a good friend of mine named Chip White.  Tyson and I both decided to sell pest control this summer in order to fund our way through school during the year.  The goal was to make enough money to not have to work as hard throughout the school year, and also (for me) to make enough money to buy a new car.  Our first few weeks on the job were spent learning how to sell with our fellow pest control sellers Emerson, Brendan, Tyler, Kimberly, Nick, Micah, Abinadi, Ruth, Rachel, Radge, and Jesse.  It turned out to be a pretty fun summer with them, though it was really hard work.  Tyson and I shared an apartment and were a few of the guys that were the most successful (albeit moderate success) and hardest workers on the team.  

The memories of this summer include playing basketball with everyone from work every Wednesday night.  Late night runs to Whataburger with Chip to talk about selling, BYU sports, etc., Micah stealing Tyson's first sale, JR coming down to Austin to visit, hurting my ankle really badly playing basketball, drives to the area with Ruth and Rachel, "20 kisses", "I like Brendan...", watching movies with Tyler and Kimberly, floating the river, going to Six Flags, watching the World Cup, and the best ribs I have ever eaten sent down to us by Tyson's mom.  There was also the time Tyson and I decided to start naming things that were wrong with my car "Snoopy", and within a minute we had gone from A - N of things that were wrong with it, without even having to really think of anything.  It was a fun summer, but not necessarily one I would want to go and do again.  I do miss my friends from that summer, and I can still picture in my mind walking down streets and through neighbourhoods with Tyson that we sold in, but it was a tough summer of selling.  Not an easy job by any means, but a great learning experience.  

The music from this summer is basically Cartel's first EP and "Chroma", as well as the first Angels and Airwaves LP "We don't need to whisper".  I remember listening to a little bit of Taking Back Sunday's 2nd album "Where you want to be" as well.  

Summer 2007:  My second summer of selling pest control was a very different experience from the first one.  This summer I went down to sell by myself.  Tyson needed to stay up in Provo for the summer to take some classes for school, and I really was not good at recruiting anyone to the work myself.  I did meet up with Tyler, Kimberly, and Radge down in Austin / San Antonio again, and I met some new friends, Trenton, Joseph, Kimball, and TJ.  

There are not a lot of memories that I have from this summer.  I remember Watching movies again with Tyler and Kimberly, going out to sell with Kimball and TJ, and a lot of having to go sell by myself.  It was a very rough summer from the motivation perspective, as I was frequently one of the only people going out to sell every day.  I become better friends with Emerson and his wife that summer, and through facebook I was able to keep up with my friends back in Provo (Lu, Jenna, and Michelle).  We had another fun Six Flags trip at the end of the summer, and Tyson came down to visit towards the end of the summer and we went to Schlitterbaun the water park down in New Braunfels.  It was a hard summer, but I don't remember being too bummed out about it at the time.  I remember having conversation with Ben over the phone when he told me that we were no longer going to live at Branbury the next year, but that we would be living in what turned out to be a super ghetto apartment complex (Lion House), and I remember hearing from Tyson about some of the new friends he was making up at school (Sarah, McKell, etc.).  This was also a very rough summer for me because it was the summer that I lost my great grandparents Lohnes.  I was able to travel back up to Utah for the funeral of my great grandpa Lohnes and it was good to be with my family at that time.  I will miss them, and I still do.  

Most of the music from this summer was a random assortment of things from my iPod.  I remember listening to Day at the Fair frequently, as well as Taking Back Sunday.  This was also the time that I discovered Spitalfield, and it was really the time that I got into Senses Fail. 

Take me back to...

The past few weeks it has started to feel more and more like summer as the daylight has lasted longer and the nights have gotten warmer.  Summer time is by far one of my favourite times of year, not only because there seems to be more energy in the air, but also because of all the good memories I have from each summer since I have been home from my mission.  As I have reminisced recently on summers gone by, it has prompted me to write down a few memories to not only help capture what I can still remember, but also to help motivate me to make this summer live up to summers past.  With that being said, take me back to…

Summer 2005:  My first summer home from the mission.  This summer is kind of broken down into two parts for me.  The first part takes place in Fort Worth with all of my good friends from the Colleyville 2nd Ward.  I started going to the singles ward upon my arrival home with my good buddy Tyson, and we quickly got plugged into whatever social scene existed in the ward at the time.  We made friends pretty quickly, and began attending ward activities, etc. right away.  What I remember most from this first part of the summer was time spent catching up on movies post mission with Tyson, ward activities (FHE, Institute, basketball, bonfires, etc.) with the friends I made in the singles ward, and the first girl I dated post mission: Alison.  In retrospect I probably ended up spending too much time worrying about girls and dating considering the short amount of time I would be home before I went up to school, but I did end up having a lot of fun with the friends I made in the few short months I was at home.  During this time I also worked doing little construction projects for my Dad's company with Tyson while we both saved before heading up to BYU.  This included moving huge piles of concrete with Ed and Don, tearing down a brick wall in Carrollton with Glenn, James, and Matthew, as well as driving to Dallas to work as an office assistant at Mark's house.  Nothing too much else exciting comes from that part of the summer, but I do remember it being a good time.  

The second part of the summer starts when Tyson and I back up my little 1987 Toyota Celica with all of what we need for school, and begin the drive up to Provo to attend BYU.  The highlight of that trip includes running out of gas as we crossed into New Mexico, while the AAA guy that helped the people just ahead of us tried to charge me like $150 for 3 gallons of gas.  I told him to screw off and we ended up hitchhiking to the nearest town with a nice couple that stopped to help us out.  We eventually made it to Albuquerque and on to Provo to begin school.  My first summer at school was definitely one of the easiest times I had up at school.  I wanted to ease myself back into the swing of school, so I ended up taking Weightlifting, Spanish (to get the 15 foreign language credits) and Intro to Sociology.  I easily navigated the summer term with no real issues and began making friends in my ward and my classes.  We lived up in Provo with our other friend from Texas, J.R., and also with a friend of mine from my days of high school in Utah, Ben.  Memories of this summer include ping pong in the club house, playing sand volleyball, and a ton of inside jokes my friends and I have held onto ever since.  We learned that Ben was going to hand out pancakes at his wedding "here you go, here you go, here you go…", got ridiculed for watching an NBA Finals game on a Sunday courtesy of Zimbie's awesomely righteous roommates, and left Tyson to get his head scratched by a girl with SUPER nasty feet.  

Soundtrack for this summer includes: Jimmy Eat World "Futures"; Yellowcard "Ocean Avenue"; and anything Brand New.  

If you have any other memories / comments you remember from this summer with me, or you just want to share any awesome memories you have from the summer of 2005, please feel free to comment.   

Learn To Trust.

Wow!  Where did April go?  Is April one of those abnormally short months like February? Or did I really just miss a whole month of my life?  It feels like I must have been in a coma for the past 4.5 weeks or so, because I can not remember much of anything that happened in April at all.  I guess just add it to the list of other months that I can't remember much about because nothing of note really happened in them.  The one thing I believe that I will remember about April 2011 is how crazy and hectic of a month it was for me, as well as it being the month that my family found out about the move to California.  

It really has been a hectic past couple of weeks.  I have been busier at work now than I ever have been before in my life.  I am working 60+ hour weeks and I still have plenty of other things to get done.  Things at church have kept me busy between my calling, stake requests, and elders quorum activities; it has not left much time for much else.  The biggest thing that happened in April though was that my Dad interviewed, received an offer for, and accepted a job in California.  It seems like it is really going to be a good opportunity for him.  He will be working for the church taking care of the buildings in the Oakland area, and it will be something that he will love and do very well at.  The only downside to the job is that it is in northern California, which is pretty far away from me and the rest of our extended family here in Texas.   

It is through situations like this, that have seemed to happen pretty repetitively over the past year or so of my life, that have helped me to (or sometimes forced me to) gain a deeper trust in the Lord and his plan for my happiness.  I really want what is best for my family and I believe that this new job in California will be great for my Dad and Mom and for the family overall.  At the same time, I don't want them to move because I want them to continue to be close to me.  It is the situations like these that seem to have arisen quite frequently over the past year of my life that have gotten to focus my doubts and desires on trying to align them with what the Lord wants for me and my family.  Often times recently it seems as if my personal desires and what the Lord has planned for me are different things.  I am learning to trust in his plan more as I encounter such differences in opinion (as if I had any choice), and it really helps bring a sense of peace and clarity to my life.  

The fact of the matter is that the Lord loves us all and he has a plan for us.  He knows us better than we even know ourselves, and thus knows what we need better than we do.  It is a very hard lesson to learn, and it is not easy to accept when things happen in life that seem so contrary to how you would plan them if it were up to you and only you.  However, I have been able to see over the course of the past few months that even when things do not happen how I would like them to, they often turn out for the best in the end.  This helps me to trust more in his plan the next time things do not go the way that I would like them to.  The last point I want to make is regarding the sense of purpose, direction, and peace that comes to your life by learning to accept the Lord's will rather than being upset and trying to fight against it.  By accepting what the Lord has presented each of us in our life as what will truly be best for us, we demonstrate our trust in him.  This trust and faith in his plan then allows him to bless us in ways that he otherwise would not be able to, and our lives can become enriched in the way that the Lord wants.  We then begin to become the types of people the Lord needs us to become to further his work here on earth.  I hope that I can continue to progress in this area, and that I am quicker to accept the Lord's will in the future even when it does not match the plan for my life that I have in my head.  05-01-11

Jan - Mar Recap.

So it is crazy how quickly time goes by.  We are already 1/4 of the way through the year 2011, so I thought I would go back and take a look at the resolutions that I set for myself.  I have a lot of things that I want to get accomplished this year, and it is important that I take a look to see how I am progressing towards those goals.  Looking back at some of the resolutions I made, I have been making some pretty good progress on some, while I completely forgot about others.  

First off, let me give a recap of what I have done since the beginning of the year.  I have had a lot of events at my house over the past few months.  This has allowed me to not only strengthen the relationships with my existing group of friends, but also make friends with a new set of people in the ward.  I have also focused a LOT on basketball over the past few months.  I have been to 2 Mavs games and 1 BYU game over the past few months.  I went down to the statisticians table before one of the Mavs games and high fived all the players as they ran out for warm-ups before the game.  I took a trip to Houston to go to the temple with some friends, and I have been working very hard to get my body in better shape by going on a strict diet and playing basketball multiple times per week.  I took a trip to Utah to go snowboarding, and I am looking at trips to go skydiving and to Europe.  All in all I think I am making good progress to most of my goals.  I have made it to the temple at least once per month so far, and although I am a bit behind on my reading I am still working on it.  I read at least a little bit pretty much every night.

One of the things I need to focus on over the next few months is to get my songs finished.  I have a worked on them a little bit, but there is still a lot of work to do.  I still need to work on my skateboarding, getting my house more furnished, and preparing for the GMAT / Grad School.  There are a lot of different things I want to get accomplished over the next few months, and hopefully I can continue making good progress on the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year.  Work has been extremely busy of late, but it has been very good.  I feel very blessed to have the opportunities that I do, and I look forward to using those opportunities to help other people.  03-31-11

BYU Basketball 2011.

I have been wanting to compose my thoughts on this year's basketball team for a while now.  It never seemed like the appropriate time, because every time I thought the team had done something particularly awesome to where I didn't think it could be topped, they would do something even beyond what I thought they would to just leave me even more impressed.  Now that the season has come to an end and I have had a day or two to collect my thoughts, I thought it would be appropriate to provide my own tribute to the team.  

This year's addition of the BYU Men's Basketball team has been probably my favourite BYU sports team since the 1996 BYU Football team.  I loved watching each and every single one of their games, and made a point of watching their games every time they were on.  I loved this team's heart, resolve, and grit as they were tested several times throughout the year and always represented themselves and the school admirably.  They were in the national spotlight for longer and performed better than I can ever remember any BYU sports team playing in my lifetime.  To be able to deal with that pressure all year long, and then to consistently perform at a high level when everyone begins to doubt you and to outperform their expectations is very impressive.  

Of course the story of this year's basketball team begins and ends with our best player and national sensation Jimmer Fredette.  Jimmer is the man!  He has taken over the top spot as favourite BYU athlete of my lifetime.  I have never watched a more entertaining basketball player ever.  The crazy thing about Jimmer is that he is entertaining in a different way than most basketball players I have ever watched.  His game is a mixture of a lot of different players I have watched over the years, but there is really no good comparison on a one for one basis as to who he compares to.  His ability to get a shot off in the lane against bigger defenders is Ginobli-esque, he has the ability to drive around and through defenders like Steve Nash, and he has the ability to hit long range shots like no one I remember seeing.  He is a very special player and I look forward to watching him play in the NBA.  

Though Jimmer garnered almost all of the attention and focus this year, the team had plenty of other capable players many of whom I will miss watching this off season.  First of all I want to mention the seniors and Jackson Emery.  I have watched him since we were both freshman at BYU.  He was a pre-mission freshman, and I was a post-mission freshman, but I remember him being one of my favourite players from that team.  Since returning from the mission he has gotten better and better every year.  His defensive presence was inspiring to watch, and I have never seen someone as capable as him put his ego on hold so much for the betterment of the team.  He could have easily become frustrated and disenchanted due to all of the Jimmer hype this last year, but even if he was he never showed it.  He led the team by example and our team would not have been anywhere near what it was without Emery.  

The other senior on the team was Logan Magnusson.  Though I didn't get to watch him very much over the past 4 years, I very much appreciated what he brought to the team at the end of the year when we needed him to step up.  He played big by stepping in and playing solid defense, taking charges, and hitting some big shots.  His contribution along with the contributions of Noah Hartsock, Charles Abouo, James Anderson, Kyle Collinsworth, Stephen Rogers, and Brandon Davies all made this year special and this team special.  Making it to the Sweet 16, and within one play of the Elite 8 is an incredible feat, and a fitting way for this team and some of these players to go out.  I will never forget the memories I have from this year, and I hope that future teams at BYU can live up to the standard that was set by these players and this team this year.  03-26-11