Life never stops. This has been my reality lately. It is crazy to me how quickly time seems to go by, and how long ago events that only happened a few weeks back seem. Life changes daily due to shifting work priorities, a consistently evolving social life, and a never ending list of things I probably should be doing or working on.
I've had a lot of time to think about this phenomenon and how it affects me both personally and spiritually. Personally, there are times when I just feel like I need a break! A break from the constant pressure of work, social life, church responsibilities, family responsibilities, personal needs, and the list of things that I know I should do but rarely have time for. Even when I get some time to relax, I don't feel like I can fully take advantage of it due to the pressures I know I have waiting for me once I determine my "break" is over. One of the things I have always wanted to change about myself is the feeling I have that I am pretty good at a lot of things, but not really good or excellent at any one thing. I have a lot of different things that I like to do, work on, be a part of, develop skills in, etc. that I take up and often do well in fairly quickly. However, I don't get to a level in any of those things where I personally feel like I am at an elite level or one of the best in any of them. This is frustrating to me as I feel that I would really like to be one of the best in something.
The reason that I feel like I am not able to get to the level I would like on some of the things I try is due to the level of effort that I know will be required for me to get there. I have always been the time of person that if I could study for a few hours and get 85 - 90 or so on a test or study for 20 hours and get a 95 - 100 on a test, I would always choose to study less and spend all my extra time doing other things. It is this mentality which then influences me when I have other things that, although I would like to become one of the best in them, due to the significant effort required for me to get to that point, I choose to spend my time elsewhere. Not that I am afraid to work hard to get what I want, just that with all of the constantly competing demands on my time, the pressure of having other things to get done does not allow me to feel that I have enough time to dedicate to any one thing. At the end of the day I suppose it all comes down to balance, and being able to prioritize all of the competing demands on our time. However after we have made our decisions on what to do with our time, we need to feel good about our decisions and feel a sense of accomplishment on the way we have lived our lives. I would love to have the feeling of having given something everything I have and working hard to become the best at it. The difficult part in all of this will be finding the correct balance with all of the other things I have going on in my life to find the time necessary to feel that I have given something all that I have. I believe this is part of our test and challenge of living.
Knowing that life never stops (or seems to stop) can provide great comfort and opportunity as well. Each day is a new day. It doesn't matter if today was an amazing day, a normal day, or the worst day of your life, you will wake up tomorrow with a new opportunity and challenge to make that day successful. This is a huge blessing! Not every day we are on the top of our game. There are some days that just suck, and some days in which you just suck. We all make mistakes and have off days, so there is comfort in knowing that the Lord has provided us the blessing of a new day to learn from our mistakes, grow, and become better. If we take advantage of these daily opportunities to improve, and realize that no matter our mistakes in the previous day we have new opportunities in the next day, we begin to more fully understand and appreciate the atonement. Because of the atonement, it doesn't matter how crappy of a day yesterday was, today we have new opportunities to make the most of our time. Even though I may not be to where I want to be yet in a lot of different aspects of my life, I appreciate the challenges and opportunities to keep on going. Even if that means I have crappy days and life never seems to stop. I suppose I appreciate the constantly moving forward nature of life more than I would the alternative. Just some new perspective I have gained over the past few weeks.
