Never Neverland.

Aka Provo.  Home to literally thousands of Latter-day Saint Peter Pans and Lost Boys.  The phenomenon of people moving to Provo and staying there for years and years after graduation (or just moving there to "work") while working at jobs they are seemingly over qualified for (or not over qualified for depending on their major) is nothing new.  Upon my first arrival in this peculiar little college town back in the summer of 2005 I first came in contact with these long time Utah county residents.  At first I thought the ones I ran into were just random occurrences, people that had somehow survived the college experience in the Mecca of single mormondom without becoming converted to the gospel of eternal marriage. However, as I sojourned my own 4 year university experience in the Provo bubble I became aware that these were more than just random occurrences but rather more like a swelling underground movement of college graduates that have no real reason to stay in their college town other than they are afraid / refuse to grow up. 

Now, let me put some disclaimers out there.  I am not referring simply to EVERYONE who stays in Provo after graduation.  I am sure there are a lot of legitimate reasons for staying in Provo once your college days are over including but not limited to: you are FROM Provo, you have a job that could actually be considered as related to your major, or perhaps for the first six months after graduation while you wait for / try to figure out what the next step in your life should be.  Also, let me just say that I am referring mainly to single males here.  I don't really care what the married people do, as they live in a world that is completely separate from mine in most aspects (I mean I see them in the grocery store and stuff, but that is about it).  Also, single females get a little more leeway as a lot of them majored in something completely useless like pottery or floral design in hopes of getting married and now that they are in the position of having to actually use their degree to support themselves, it takes a little bit more time for them to figure things out.  Besides, most girls that stick around Provo for long enough eventually end up getting married or exiling themselves somewhere where the average age of people you come in contact with is > the 18-24 year old age range.  (See Salt Lake City, Boston, Orange County, etc.) 

No, the people I am talking about here are the 26+ year old "Provo All-Stars" as they have been termed that have no real reason for staying in Provo other than they have no idea what they want to do with their life and they want to get a little bit more time hitting on a fresh batch of 19-21 year old college sophomore and junior girls that have made it through the first year or two of college unmarried.  What is it about Provo and the surrounding areas that make it such a breeding ground for this type of dude?  I think there are a lot of factors that go into it.  

1.     Largest group of marriage minded single LDS people in the world - There is really no denying this point.  While there may be some other areas that have a good sized LDS population like Salt Lake City or Logan, the marriage mindset exhibited in Provo is not matched by either one of the aforementioned areas.  Rexburg may have the marriage focus down just as much or even better than Provo, but the size of the single population is much smaller.  All in all this creates an environment where young single adults in the church congregate, often with the pretext of attending school, in order to increase their odds of finding a mate.  Once their education is finished and the pretext of school is no longer applicable they still stay in order to continue to give themselves what they perceive as better odds of finding the "right one". 

2.    Culture setup to accommodate impoverished young married couples - What is one of the greatest things about Provo for young couples who are just starting out their lives together?  The relatively low cost of living!  What makes it very easy for people to stick around Provo after graduation without having a decent job or forcing them to really do anything with their lives?  The relatively low cost of living!!!  That's right, it is super easy for people to stick around Provo for as long as they want because housing is cheap, there is no real shortage of people they can room with, there are a lot of University sponsored events that are either free or very inexpensive, and the entire culture of the people in the area is very frugal / cheap.  I can't imagine an easier place for someone away from home to eek out a living working at jobs that are typically reserved for high school and college students.  How many jobs at the local malls are being taken by someone that has already graduated from school and should have started doing something more productive with their life by now?  It's a good question, think about it…

3.    The population keeps on refreshing - Every year there are new people to meet.  One of the problems with really small college towns or smaller LDS populations is that you run the risk of meeting everyone after a year or two.  This makes things difficult because if people know that someone has been there for a long time they become less and less desirable to continue to get to know, date, or even have around.  This is not a problem in Provo however, with literally hundreds of BYU singles wards to choose from.  Thousands of fresh faces flock to Provo each year thus enabling people to live for years in relative anonymity while the people they meet continue to grow up, graduate, and move on. 

All in all I think there are a lot of reasons that Provo has become a Never Neverland for people who refuse to move out of the bubble and move on with their lives.  It is a very attractive option for a lot of different reasons, but can also be a detriment to the personal growth and development of those that get caught in its refuse to move on / grow up subculture.  There are a lot of good reasons to stay in Provo, but there are also a lot of good reasons to leave.  It might be time to give somewhere else a chance to become your new home. 12-02-10